How bad can a good girl get?
June 2011
9703.) I hate that I hurt you so much. I mean, I tell you that I'm sorry for causing you pain and ruining your life, but I don't think you realize that I actually AM truly and deeply sorry. I'm trying so hard to fix my mistakes so I won't hurt you anymore, but you're so blinded by what I did to you in the past that you refuse to see that I am making progress and changing. I just want things to be the way they once were again.
May 2011
Happiness
I just realized how much I can’t live without him.
I still feel elated because he woke me up with a call at 5pm asking me where I was, and then told me to go outside because he was there. He went on a six hour long bus ride just to see me and make things right on our 3rd month. I was stupid because I made a rash decision this morning and I regret that now after what he did. Love can really make you do the craziest things.
My family wasn’t that happy because it was really dangerous to go on a trip these days because of the weather, but he told me he just couldn’t let me go. I feel so very lucky to have him, and very stupid because I made myself believe that I could be okay with him not around.
But after all the fights, I have grown to love him even more because of the unselfish way he loves. He could go on a trip and not eat because he needs the money (guilt trip), and risk facing the stormy weather just for us to be okay. He even bought me the book I always wanted.
Love really is the craziest thing, and after this crazy summer, I am ready to go back to school and face any challenge that come my way. As long as he is with me, I am happy.
“We sit silently and watch the world around us. This has taken a lifetime to learn. It seems only the old are able to sit next to one another and not say anything and still feel content. The young, brash and impatient, must always break the silence. It is a waste, for silence is pure. Silence is holy. It draws people together because only those who are comfortable with each other can sit without speaking. This is the great paradox.”
—Nicholas Sparks (The Notebook)
